Check out the above diagram.
It’s the (quite famous) hierarchy of needs pyramid concept introduced by psychologist
Abraham Maslow back in 1943.
He believed that we all have 5 sets of needs that appear in a particular order and that
as each level is reached we then have a desire to fulfil the next one.
Now at the bottom of this pyramid we have the real basics of food, water, and a roof over
your head. If this need hasn’t been sorted then why would you bother worrying about anything
else – like getting fit and healthy.
Next, comes SAFETY – this is where your physical health comes into play along with having
a secure job and living in a safe area.
Then we have ‘Love and Belonging’, esteem and self actualisation.
Based on this theory (and it’s stood the test of time so far and is considered accurate)
I now understand why things felt so out of alignment when I was in my mid 30’s.
I shot straight to self actualisation before having sorted the other bits out below first.
I was always focused on my career (in my 20’s) as this was my early definition of success, but
realised that there was more to life than this.
I then got married at 28 and we had our first child when I was 30.
Things changed.
I felt more complete – like I had more purpose when my kids came along, but within
a couple of years
I was spending all of my time at work again – I had gone straight back to the top of that
pyramid again.
Growing distant from my family.
I knew something was up – (do you ever have a niggling feeling
at the back of your mind that something in your life is not quite right
but you can’t put your finger on what it is)…and this explains it.
Weak Foundations
Even though I had a family I felt detached
from it – the 3rd level of the hierarchy of needs was once again incomplete.
Then my health took a turn. My stomach flared up – I was in and out of hospital.
Even though I thought I was doing the right thing by focusing on the top of the
pyramid – my career I was doing so from weak foundations as I was unhealthy
and detached from my family.
This is the exact position that so many guys that I speak to are in right now.
They’re working hard, they’ve let themselves go (some worse than others)
and their relationships are not quite as good as they used to be.
Here’s What Then Happened When I Sorted My Health Out
Once I committed to ‘getting healthy’ things started to change.
I started to take better care of myself which meant eating better foods
and drinking less booze. This combined with exercise gave me
more energy.
I then started to realise how lucky I was to have such a great family
that loved me around and I started committing to more quality time
with them – it helped that I had the energy to do so.
Then as my beer gut started to disappear and my body fat % started to
come down I started to feel significantly better about myself
and what I was achieving. My self esteem started to soar. (level 4 of
the pyramid)
…..and as all of this has been going on I have changed careers and
found a different purpose.
I now wake up each morning with passion and excitement about helping
other guys that are over 35 and in a similar place to where I was. I help
them tackle this journey themselves.
Discovered This By Accident
The truth is I’d love to tell you that I knew exactly what I was doing all
along. That I discovered Maslow’s hierarchy a few years ago getting to this
point was all engineered – but that’s not the case at all.
I’ve done what I’ve done. Each step has just felt ‘right’ along the way.
I’ve been saying to people that if you focus on sorting your health out
then the other things in your life will start to improve as well – without truly
understanding the reasons for this at a ‘psychological’ level.
All I’ve had is tons of results – mine and my clients to confirm this to be the
case.
I’ve then stumbled across this pyramid and everything is laid out.
That niggling feeling? – this is why. This is what you get when you’re focusing
too much on one area having not sorted out the levels below:
YOUR HEALTH being the main one!!!!
Ricky
ps. leave your details below if you fancy joining my next online 6 week programme
for guys that are over 35 that want to ditch at least a stone and get
back into great shape.