Why Men Over 35 Need To Try More

Life felt pretty tough a few years ago.

I was 35 years old.

I was working 14-16 hours per day – and feeling stressed out.

I was really unhealthy. Bad skin, bad diet, drinking loads of coffee to stay awake during the day, fat gut and looked at least 10 years older.

At the weekends I was then getting drunk. Using alcohol as a way to numb my reality.

Then I would get ill as I had a persistent chronic stomach condition that kept flaring up.

Myself and my wife had 2 kids that were 5 and 3 respectively.

I had been with my wife Alex for 15 years and that spark had faded a little bit.

My solution to all of this was to work harder. Work longer. Blame the high mortgage costs and car loans for having to work as hard as I was doing.

…..but really I was just running away.

I was using work as a way to just block out the problems and the challenges that were facing me at home. Using work as a reason NOT to sort myself out and get fit. – “I just didn’t have the time, right?”

The result of all of this?

I was disconnected from my wife and kids. I was distant.

Even when I was physically with them, my mind was elsewhere. I was never actually present with them.

I wasn’t being the father and husband that deep down I knew I wanted to be.

It was eating me up inside.

….and so my solution to this was to drink more.

From memory I think it was mainly beer (those large 660ml bottles of peroni or stella) or Jack Daniels – sometimes both. Even on a week night!

No wander I looked a mess.

It’s Not What I Wanted

The strange thing about this situation though was that I knew I didn’t want to be acting like this. I knew that it was ruining my marriage.

I knew that I would not get this time again with my young children. I was wasting it.

Yet I carried on.

The Turning Point

Then 2 things happened back in 2011 that changed everything.

I went to try on a new pair of suit trousers from John Lewis. I found the suit that I liked and went to try it on. To my surprise the 36″ trousers that I took in were to small. I had to buy a 38″!!

Then within about 48 hours I saw some holiday photos that had been developed by my parents of when we were on holiday with them. I was playing with my daughter in one of them and I didn’t recognise myself.

I had turned into a fat and old looking dad.

All of a sudden I didn’t feel my age. I felt much older.

I looked at the smile on my daughter’s face in the photo and it dawned on me that I wasn’t being the inspirational role model that I had always dreamt of being for my kids.

That was it.

No more!

Time to change.

What A Journey!

It’s then been one hell of a journey since.

Within 9 months I had become super fit. Got rid of my beer gut. Stopped the unhealthy habits and literally transformed into a completely different guy.

I loved it so much that I decided to become a Personal Trainer.

I then opened my own gym in Northampton in May 2013.

….and have not looked back since.

My Family

I now have the most amazing relationship with my kids. When I am with them I am really with them – not thinking about other things.

I prioritize them.

I got my Level 1 FA coaching badge so that I could coach my son’s football team.

Like it or not, our kids will model our behaviours. Good or bad.

My kids see me day to day. The way that I look after myself. The way that I eat. The way that I now speak to my wife. The way that I help other people change their lives and the impact that I am now having on people’s lives and they are inspired to do the same.

Then there is the relationship that I have with my wife Alex. We have now been together 19 years and it feels like we get on better now than ever. We share our dreams and aspirations and work together to achieve them. We have weekends away together and behave like we are in our early 20s. We just have loads of fun together and make each other laugh.

Now

This has all happened since I made that decision.

Since the day that I had that ‘wake up call’

The day that I decided to start actually taking care of my body and my health and actually waking up in the morning with a spring in my step rather than just hitting snooze and rolling over.

Has it been easy?

No

Has it been expensive?

No

Has it saved my marriage and the relationship I have with my kids?

Oh yes!

Now some reading this will probably be thinking “that’s a bit dramatic – putting everything down to just getting healthy”

The thing is, it’s not just about getting healthy. It’s what getting healthy then leads on to.

Me getting really healthy meant that my wife started to also get really healthy.

Me starting to give a shit about how I looked and acted meant that those around me did the same (kids and Alex)

Me starting to set crazy goals and achieving them inspired also others to do the same.

Me then investing the time to reconnect with my wife has meant that she has then wanted to do the same in return.

Is there a secret to all of this?

Not really.

Just a case of following a certain programme and be held accountable along the way.

It would be selfish of me to just keep this all to my self though which is why I now help men over 35 to do the same.

Ricky

ps. Click the link below if you fancy grabbing a FREE copy of my 6 week transformation programme book (currently for sale on amazon) CLICK HERE